I read To Own a Dragon by Donald Miller last year. To those of you who aren’t aware, I like Don. We’ve never met in person but I’m sure if we did we’d be friends. Well, I can testify for myself that I would want to be his friend. He may not want to befriend an awkward fan. Great. I’m digressing. Back to the book. I really appreciated Miller’s thoughts concerning the issue of growing up without a father. It may not make sense to some, but when he wrote about how he felt out of place when he was around families or adults, I felt like someone was speaking my language on the subject for the first time. He shared about the time when it finally hit him that he grew up without a father and that it wasn’t how it was supposed to be. We could argue about how God knew all along that it was going to happen, or tha he’s now the person he is because of his father’s absence, but I don’t think he was writing on those points. I think he was recognizing that there was something a miss in the way he was raised, that God created family in the order that a mother and a father would parent the child. Anyway, he went on to describe the (humiliating) process it has been to seek out and learn from families and older, wiser, godly men (and women) the things that he should’ve learned from his own parents. Everything from fixing a car to finances to interaction with the opposite sex. He talked about this family who took him into their home and invested in him. He shared about the lessons he learned and how God began to change him.
His thoughts resonated deeply, the only difference being that I didn’t have a family who would invest in me! I understand. I know people are busy and after eight hours with the kids I babysit, I’m amazed that parents have energy to invest in the development of their kids, let alone the energy to hang out with some dysfunctional twenty-something and invest in their development. I get it. Even still, I was really desiring to grow a relationship and learn from people who have lived life a little and had some things to teach me. I’ve been praying to meet a God-fearing and loving family that I’m not intimidated by. Well, God answered my prayers with the Carters. It’s a light-hearted yet intentional time when I’m with them and I feel so blessed after spending time with them. They rock. Meet the Carters. Thanks, God. 🙂
brewing faith 
May 5, 2007 at 10:23 am
These carters are becoming Famous!! Miss you coop.
May 5, 2007 at 6:17 pm
Okay, first off, I don’t want you to think I’m so ignorant as to not know that Ghandi is not the leader of Hinduism, I was merely using him as a figurehead example, and obviously not having been to India such as yourself you would have better knowledge then I on what his face is plastered on 🙂
Anywhoo, so when exactly were you going to tell me about this boy in your life. And this Raj is the same Raj who’s sister is Aziner, who is linked from my blog? Clear this up for me because I feel like I’m playing the six degrees of seperation game here. Also, I’ll be in Cali the last 2 weeks of May but given your track record of 07 I won’t get my hopes up of seeing you 🙂
May 5, 2007 at 10:15 pm
Cooper, I think I understand how you feel. We’ve talked about it a lot. It’s on my blog, even. (Simply titled “Family” or some such.) At any rate, I know how it feels to be an outcast in an environment that should be warming and filled with love. Missing a parent (or two) can be disappointing once you realize they are supposed to be there and, well, sometimes you feel guilty. I did. I thought that I had done something wrong and thus pushed my parents aside, as though I had made the decision for them. I longed for a renewed sense of belonging. Then, as you know, I was adopted by this cool family — the Richardsons. Mom and Dad. This was BEFORE I even came to God in surrender. He just made it happen.
All of that to say I understand and am very glad God brought you and the Carters together. Don’t be afraid to lean on them. They’ll teach you a lot, I’m sure.
May 6, 2007 at 6:45 am
Coop,
God brought us to Riverside, kicking and screaming all the way from Orange County four years ago, in order to bless us in new ways. He brought us to this specific church, at this time, in order to bless us. We’ve met so many amazing people through Kim WeisenFal and continue to be blessed.
Your kind words confirm God’s call on us here. Thank you for your openness and friendship.
I checked with the Bible-verse police and its ok to share this one, from Ezekiel 11:19, 20 where a relational God is pouring out his heart for his wayward people: “and I will give them one heart, and put a new spirit within them. And I will take out their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in My statutes and keep My ordinances and do them. Then they will be My people and I will be their God”
from the one who put the dys in dysfunctional and the co in codependant, Dawn (with the God-given heart transplant) 🙂
May 7, 2007 at 3:53 am
Soooo…I haven’t spoken to you once since my wedding and leaving Big Bear, so is it weird to say that I’ve missed you? You were a good roommate Lindsey Cooper. I hope that you’re doing well. This is Jennifer Chapman by the way, previously Jen Alley.
What are you up to these days?
Also, I found your blog via Rose’s, in case you were wondering.
May 8, 2007 at 12:48 am
I loved this post. I can now see why so many people want you to post more frequently…
I love how God meets our needs in ways that surpass our imagination, and it certainly seems like He has done that through these famous Carters. (Visited Dawn’s blog after reading this post, and I wanted to meet them!)
From what I hear, you are going to have the opportunity to spend time with another incredible family at the end of this month, and speaking from personal experience they will bless you tremendously.
Oh, I am a friend of Amber’s…the luck sister who lives in Texas….
May 9, 2007 at 12:50 am
Ronnie,
Why are you talking about Hinduism and Ghandi?? Muhammad was the orphan. Don’t get off the topic!
Coop,
Wonderfully put! Thanks for writing!
May 11, 2007 at 8:10 pm
ok, So I was at vons the other day and I saw these famous people that you (well only the Mom), kim, melissa, and maybe even sarah blog and talk about… And I wanted to walk up to here and tell her, “You know you are famous in the CBU GA/Friends of GA’s/Sandals Blogging world” and introduce myself… But I thought that would be a little awkward and stalkerish… So I didn’t! But a acknowleged we were grocery shopping at the same place… Now before you jump to conclusions… I was only picking up fresh produce.. I am still highly dedicated to Trader Joe’s… I hope you have a good weekend!
May 11, 2007 at 11:38 pm
Can we please hangout soon?
May 19, 2007 at 6:56 am
the carters are good people. I can’t wait to spend more time with them . . . and you, of course. 😉
June 19, 2007 at 1:53 am
I hope the Prices didn’t intimidate you. We love you too.
June 24, 2007 at 11:25 pm
Hi!
My name is April. I have never actually posted on anybody’s blog that I don’t know, but I had to tell you that I checked out your blog last night (through Dawn – yup, the Carter’s again) and went out and bought that book. I just finished it today. I won’t sum up what I’ve learned because you did such an eloquent job at that already, but I just wanted to say thank you!
April Mann
July 19, 2007 at 10:29 pm
Coop! Speaking of the fatherless, it’s high time you blogged about the U to the Kraine!